In the TV show The Brady Bunch, when two single-parent households with three kids each combined, the result was 70s sitcom hilarity. In real life, whether you have kids or goldfish or just a beloved collection of posters — and whether there’s a wacky wedding involved, or you’re just bosom buddies — combining households with someone can be difficult. Here are some tips for making the combining go as smoothly as possible.
How long will you be living together
First, assess how long you plan to share space. A temporary living arrangement has different implications than a permanent merging of households. If you plan to be with someone for a long time, it’s easy to agree to share the better microwave; but if you know you probably won’t be combining households for more than a year, do you want to hold on to duplicates? With relatively small appliances, such as microwaves and blenders, it may make sense to donate the surplus item to charity and plan on replacing it down the road, rather than spend money on storage.
Declutter your belongings
Combining households may mean having to fit your stuff into a smaller space. Now would be a good time to assess your possessions and declutter as much as you can. The fewer things you need to fit into the shared space, the smaller the risk of fighting with your new roommate. However, as you’re decluttering, it’s wise to keep a relatively open-minded and non-judgmental attitude towards your new roommate’s possessions. Don’t declutter for them; what looks like trash to you could have real value to them, sentimental or actual.
Moving with kids
If you’re combining households with kids, it will be your additional responsibility to make sure that your Greg, Peter, and Bobby pare down their own stuff without resenting Marcia, Jan, and Cindy. Hopefully you and the other adult will be able to divide up the kids’ spaces without any one kid feeling that he or she has been slighted. If you dislike the idea of making your kids give up their playthings, try and find an apartment community with storage space available; failing that, look for tips on closet organization in order to maximize storage space in the apartment itself.
Find a compromise
If you can, agree on how to divide up the living space well before move-in day. If both of you have pared down your possessions and still need room, you might look at a floor plan and agree to negotiate. If you want to take an additional closet, might you be willing to help your roommate buy a spare chest of drawers? Also consider what you’ll want to keep in the most commonly shared rooms: the bathrooms, the kitchen, any hall closets, and the living room.
Keep a list
Finally, make a list of your possessions at the beginning of your cohabitation. If things go bad between you and your new roommate, you’ll have an easier time reclaiming that valuable book if you can show it was marked as yours months ago.