As stressful as moving can be for you, the process can be even harder on your children. While some children might get excited about moving to a new apartment, others could develop anxiety or behavioral problems related to a change in their normal routine. Every child will take his or her own time adjusting to a move, but talking about moving with your child — early and often and throughout the process — will help make a difficult transition easier.
Start early
One of the best ways to ease the transition for your children is to start talking about moving early. As soon as you have information about your move, start engaging in honest discussions with your kids and answer their questions fully and truthfully. Based on the age of your children, you may want to discuss a number of topics:
- What your new apartment will be like
- What will happen during the moving process
- Things to do in your new neighborhood, city, or state
- The new school your children will attend
- The circumstances of your move (job loss, promotion, divorce, etc.)
Not knowing what’s going to happen next is scary for anyone, so helping your children get a clear picture of what to expect can soothe their fears and help them be more receptive to change. Remember that younger children may not fully understand the concept of moving. For them, it may be helpful to tell a story about moving. Use toy trucks, furniture, people, and houses to illustrate your situation.
As you get closer to your moving date, remember to make time to check in with your children. Talking about moving several times throughout the process will help them feel more like they’re involved in the decision-making as opposed to being taken along for the ride.
Get your children involved
As you begin talking about moving, look for ways that your children can be part of the process. Age-appropriate activities can help kids feel a sense of a control over their situation. Younger children, for example, may be allowed to choose which room they want in the new house while older children could give their input during the house-hunting process or be allowed to decorate their new room.
Children can also be involved in the moving process itself. When it comes to packing up your child’s toys, make sure he understands that you’re not throwing them away. Talk to your child about why you’re putting toys in boxes and let him help you pack up. You could even let him label his own boxes with markers or crayons.
Be positive
Whatever the circumstances of your move, remaining positive is important when talking about moving with your children. When you talk about moving, help your kids see the possibilities. Focus on the big picture and discuss the benefits of moving to a new place. You might talk about:
- The opportunity to make new friends
- Seeing moving to a new home as practice for going off to college
- Having access to the beach/a park/museums in your new city
- Planning trips to visit the old neighborhood
Children young and old look to their parents for reassurance during times of transition, and maintaining a calm, positive outlook can ease their stress. By setting a positive example now, you can help your child develop a positive attitude towards change for the rest of his life.
Be patient
Every child is different, and experts advise that some kids may adjust to a new place in a few weeks while others could take longer. Continue to talk about moving after you’ve settled and look for warning signs like long-term anxiety or depression, trouble sleeping, failing grades, or poor socialization. These problems could indicate that your children need professional health services to adjust to their new environment.
As you continue talking with your children, be patient and empathize with their feelings. Despite your best efforts at improving your kids’ lives, they could still experience anxiety or depression. Take care not to get angry or upset with your children, and let them know that their feelings about moving to a new apartment are normal.